


Unbroken

by InsomniaMagic



Series: BokuAka Week 2018 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: BokuAka Week, Day 1, M/M, Melancholy, Sadness, akaashi tries to understand, bokuto breaks up with akaashi, prompt summer break, some descriptions of blood and injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 14:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14834462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniaMagic/pseuds/InsomniaMagic
Summary: BokuAka Week 2018Day 1: Summer BreakHe lets Bokuto Koutaro go.The love of his life is gone in a matter of seconds.This summer broke him into a million paper shreds taken by the wind far, far away.





	Unbroken

 

 

Akaashi´s face is as blank as a paper without a single word, a glass without a scratch.  “Why are you doing this?” His crushed heart exhaled loudly while words betrayed him. “Don´t let me go, I am not ready.” Silence.

Shock poured through him, mind and body unsyncing. Did he really say it?

“We can´t anymore,” Bokuto mumbles. “You and I. It won´t work. It doesn´t work. I think it never did, I am too much and you don´t deserve that.” He tries to hug him, circles around to leave. Mid move, he realizes it´s wrong. “Akaashi? Can you say something, please? I am a-“

Akaashi´s frame malfunctions in ways he never knew possible. “Are you serious?” His insides scream. “It doesn´t work? Never did? When? Where? I don´t mind and I don´t care! I care only for you and us and if you need a special attention, I will give it to you!” Why can´t he speak? Why can´t he tell him the truth? Akaashi is unable to fight for him.

He lets Bokuto Koutaro go.

The love of his life is gone in a matter of seconds.

This summer broke him into a million paper shreds taken by the wind far, far away.

“You need to spread your wings, Keiji,” Bokuto whispered into his bare skin couple of weeks ago. “You can´t do that with me around,” he murmured into his chest when he thought Akaashi was asleep.

“I am spreading my wings.” Akaashi never felt any different. He needs to show it. It isn´t that late, right?

No matter how hard he tries, his face is a stone.

His soul is a mess.

 

 

“There are so many things I want to tell you,” Akaashi utters to himself as he walks into an empty bedroom. “There are so many things I wish I did and said and expressed.” He gazes at the bed they shared so many times, hidden in their own personal bubble of yin and yang, creating something good and precious.

His mass falls into the sheets smelling as Koutaro, his body spray, his shampoo, his sweat, his tears. Akaashi suddenly hoped for some tears, but none would come.

“Why are you betraying me like this?” He asks his own emotions. “This is why they think you are expressionless, Keiji. This is the reason.”

 

 

“You are not like this. He knows it, those closest to you know it,” Kuroo says after Akaashi calls him one month after the break up. “Why me? Keiji? Why me? Why not Kenma or-“

Akaashi avoids looking at him.

“This doesn´t happen,” Kuroo states in a low voice. “When you speak to someone, you keep a very intense eye contact, unlike now.” He does it, so people around him may know when he judges them or praises them. “Keiji, please. You are confusing me.”

“Why did I call you?” Akaashi has no idea. It was like a beckoning.

Kenma knows too much.

Konoha understands everything.

Tsukishima sees through every bullshit.

Bokuto might not know, but he feels a lot, which can be scarier.

Kuroo?

Kuroo knows, but doesn´t show it unless he is asked to do so. Kuroo understands but doesn’t shove it down your throat. Kuroo sees through your bullshit, but calls upon you only when it´s actually welcomed, or truly unwelcomed. Kuroo might not know, but he can feel it, he can read it and he can interpret it better than the person right in front of him.

“I think I feel safe with you. Or better yet, I am hoping I can feel safe with you.” Akaashi sighs, trembling.

Kuroo doesn’t move, merely listens. “Okay. I am here so take as much time as you need.”

Akaashi nods and gives him a silent thank you with a small squeeze of his thumb, close to Kuroo´s sleeve. “Do you know why?”

“He didn´t tell you?” Kuroo seems suspicious.

“He did. I don´t know if it´s true.” Keiji´s losing his breath. He is choked by an invisible hand. He is being shattered some more. One by one, time after time.

“Then I know the same thing as you. I think he got scared of being with you. Bokuto stopped believing in himself, so he stopped believing in your words. He, he somehow forgot his own worth and worth of your promises. Maybe it was the injury making his mind worse. You aren´t the only one being shut off.”

Akaashi puts his head on the table, shaking as the first tear comes out. “I never thought this would happen. Not like this. Not ever.”

Kuroo reaches for him with nothing to give and nothing to take.

 

 

Another nightmare wakes him. Akaashi jumps out of bed and runs towards the window, scared of nothing but having faith in everything, until his limbs and mind start to wake up. “Again?” Keiji exhales. “Again,” he repeats. “Again.”

His heart tries to jump out of his throat when his sleepy stare is deceived by the curtains, making them appear like another person or a ghost haunting his ruined spirit.

Akaashi can´t get rid of it.

Finally, Akaashi Keiji cries fully until his eyes dry up. When they fill up as a well again, he cries once more and more, stopping barely when the fragile physique of his gives up, unwilling to take any more of the pain.

 

 

Pain.

The word repeats itself, when Akaashi Keiji watches for the last time. Inhaling softly, the oxygen tastes like a fine wine or smooth hot chocolate with toffee undertones.

Images flash in front of him.

Akaashi and Bokuto inside of a car sitting at the front, Kenma and Kuroo right behind them. They share a laugh, Bokuto gazes at Akaashi driving. It took them five years to meet again after high school graduation, both couples together for eternity, it seemed.

Another depiction comes. There is a loud scream coming from Kenma.

A bump.

Blood pouring out of Kuroo.

Bokuto yelling for his friend and a boyfriend.

Akaashi´s eyes close, hiding in the deep darkness of unconsciousness.

 

 

Today, Keiji is awake, his hand held by someone else, someone waiting for him. “Oh my, I need to call them. Yukie, can you call them? And Kuroo and Kenma, please?” Loud head full of silver hair turns back to the man in bed. “I am here, Keiji. I am here with you!”

As the man talks, nurses and doctor check his vitals. It seems like forever, when they finally leave with some notes Akaashi already forgot.

He sees only the man with hair of a moon and eyes of a sun.

They stare at each other, hard to tell who feels more shocked. “It has been a year, Keiji. You were in a coma for the last year.”

Akaashi frowns. A year. Summer. Broken car. Broken heart. No, no, it didn´t happen. “Are we-what are we? Are we still together?” His voice is raspy from many months of silence. “Koutaro?”

Bokuto laughs. “You don´t get rid of me so easily, Keiji.” He flashes his hand with a ring in front of Akaashi´s face. “Still married, honey.”

When he tries to kiss him, two more people show up.

“We were on a monthly check-up,” Kenma explains quietly, visibly worried.

Kuroo waves at Akaashi. “I wasn´t gone as long as you, but it was pretty bad.” Half of Kuroo´s head is shaved, the injury not entirely healed. “Stupid drunk,” Kuroo ads regarding to a driver who collided with them.

“Are you okay?” Keiji frowns again, focused on Kuroo.

Tetsurou smirks a little. “I think we are both okay. All of us. Let´s go, Kenma. These lovebirds have a lot to catch up on.” Before they disappear out of Akaashi´s sight, Kuroo spins to them once more like he knows something he shouldn’t.

Akaashi doesn’t question it. None of them are able to show the enthusiasm, the realization will hopefully come much, much later. It still feels like a dream within a dream within a nightmare.

He looks up to his husband. “I love you, you know that?”

Bokuto´s face lights up. “I love you too, Akaaashi!”

Keiji smiles widely with a twinkle in his eyes. “I will express it forever, wherever. You can count on that.”

“You don´t have to. I know,” Bokuto begs him to move a little, so they can both fit into the bed.

Akaashi strokes his hair. “I know you do. But you deserve for the whole world to know.”

“You are the best, Keiji.”

“I know.” Akaashi chuckles. “Now, give me the stolen kiss, please.”

Bokuto goes for it.

As they kiss, Akaashi remembers their first meeting, their first successful toss and spike, first kiss, first love making, their one and only wedding, their late night talks and loud Bokuto´s snores.

Akaashi smiles as they continue kissing.

No more summer breaks of any form. No more broken cars and no more broken hearts, real or imagined, dreamed up or dreaded, whole year round.

Bokuto and Akaashi will go on unbroken, side by side as it was always meant to be.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for your time, please please please, if I should tag something, let me know, I wasn´t sure in regards to this type of a story.
> 
> Take care of yourself, it´s too hot outside where I live, so don´t forget to hydrate! :)
> 
> Lots of love :*


End file.
